Warlock-itis

No, sorry, the suffix -itis denotes swelling. Swollen warlock?

Hmm, Warlockaria? Yeah sure, whatever. This isn’t a greek and roman course anyways.

So I’ve been afflicted (get it? hahahaha) by this malady.

But, what say you Warlockaria, such a peculiar ailment must have a pre-set chart of logic behind it?

Well my dear friend, this sickness only affects those who have played a warlock, and thus, will prove to be a hindering detriment to the progression of your alts.

Let me paint you a pretty ass little picture, perhaps a nice visual will enable me to portray this message in a much more detailed manner.

Beautiful Summer Day

It is always a beautiful summer day in the Vale of Eternal Blossoms, the birds are fluttering about, chirping away merrily while the warm breeze dances and skirts around the flora. Today is a good day. Today is Tuesday and our dear warlock friend’s daily quests have rest. Her outlook today is that of enthusiasm. Her VP count is at 1700 and by performing some trivial tasks for the Golden Lotus, she can buy herself a new belt.

The sun shines golden, and seems to be singing in unison to a mysterious yet magical force that permeates throughout the entirety of the vale. Our brave is browsing through her Digital-Stable-Organizer (DSO) and has chosen the aid of her Icebound Frostbrood Vanquisher Fyragosa. Fyragosa is grateful to her master, ever since she freed her from the icy clutch of Arthas, she has been able to visit much more temperate climes such as Stranglethorn Vale and now, the Vale of Eternal Blossoms far away from home.

Today’s tasks include destroying a treacherous stone behemoth set forth by the Mogu, as well as freeing some of the clumsier Golden Lotus members. Our brave warlock sets to the skies and has her targets acquired. The behemoth, along with five vile mogu. Upon her descent, she has already killed two mogu with her Chaos Bolts, and her hardy Voidwalker Hathnagma is dutifully tanking the behemoth. In an almost manical flurry of fire and brimstone, all the Mogu within a 50 yard radius are dead and our warlock friend is now heading to her second hub.

The warlock art of slaughter is fluid, yet brutal. Searing flesh, and incinerating bone. Bolts of pure chaos coalesce into the form of a fel-dragon to devastate souls. Our warlock friend scorns silly melee classes who have to actually move about to kill their foes, and also any other class who can’t devastate walls of mobs in two globals. So inefficient.

The end.

So in conclusion, I’ve been trying to level my DK for the past…two months. I’ve been saying a lot that “I should level my DK”. So I log into my DK, and realize I have to actually WALK up to a mob (when deathgrip is down), then slowly whittle away at it with my frosty powers. Say what? Where’s my kill-shot that hits for 200k? How do I attack multiple targets? Bah!

Truny the Super Lazy

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