Fail-Pug Anecdote Time!

To be more precise: “What would have been a Fail-Pug had it not been for Turny the Useful Bear”.

Hmm where to begin? Alright, Turby had recently dinged 85. Congrats!

Via dungeoning alone apparently he was qualified for heroics and his first heroic was an In Progress Deadmines. He one-shotted Ripsnarl, Cookie, and Vanessa. Good job. Heroics are hard stuff!

He won one of the Best in Slot Hunter Stat Sticks and he needed to enchant it right away. Like “RIGHT NAO!”

This is where my druid comes back into the story. He is the enchanter of the crew. Turny has the 2H Weapon Mighty Agility enchant in his spellbook, which is exactly the enchant our Hunter was looking for. However, due to some rather questionable design features, this enchant is available for use at skill 470, but requires a Runed Elementium Rod that can only be used at skill 500. AND, to actually LEARN the formula for the rod you needed a skill of 515. What the f**k?

Oh, and the recipe can only be bought by going through the few intro-quests of Twighlight Highlands…and I just realied how many iterations of “gh” there are in the name of that zone. Anyways, this means that you must be at least level 84 and have a skill level that is 45 over the enchant-you-want to create it. At 515, this enchant doesn’t even grant a skill-up. Wow, that was 15% as annoying and inconvenient as any FF14 feature. (Which means it wasn’t THAT bad, or FF14 is JUST THAT BAD…)

(Apparently this is going to be fixed as of 4.0.6 but I do not care anymore, as both my enchanters are over the 470 mark)

Thanks to this error, I was forced beyond my will and control to level my druid to 84, which meant doing the tedious Bilgewater Harbour quests yet again, and also spend MILLIONS of gold buying enchanting materials to level my enchanting to 515 to learn the elementium rod recipe. That was how much Turby wanted this enchant, not my fault at all.

ANYWAYS, to get to 84 I decided to simultaneously quest and queue as a healer in the Pugger tool. Ten minutes later I was in a group for Vortex Pinnacle.

Our “tank” was horrible. Beyond comprehension. I knew that they were doing this on purpose to troll us. Queueing up as a tank in a DPS spec wearing PVP gear and ungemmed T7s. That was the little lie I told myself before having to Vote Kick him anyways. Reason: Not a tank.

Was I being irrational and impatient, was my ego in the way? No. Let me explain.

It is one thing for a properly specced properly geared person to Not Perform So Well. But this DK…umm….he would run up to a group of mobs, and would auto-attack and use one special attack on a single target. No howling blast, or death and decay or whatever those other spells are.

Chaos ensues. Everyone is aggroing everything, I the healer am taking damage, the clothies are all aggroing different mobs in an attempt to save me. We lived of course, I have uber heals and didn’t even have to use the disgusting new tree-form. (I know I know I can glyph back to the old form but I am still bitter from the removal of perma-tree)

I COULD have been super patient, and explained to the DK that Blood is the new tanking tree, that he should be in Blood spec and perhaps use AOE or perhaps try to generate threat or perhaps suggest to him that he research on his own a bit about DK tanking before attempting the new dungeons? But how did he get all the way to 83 without realizing this?

There’s a very fine line between being patient and helpful towards complete crazies you know? Though it was kind of sad as he genuinely seemed to have no clue what was going on; if he was “tanking” in a dps spec then his DPS was not that spectacular either (1,500….). So he was probably doing it to be annoying. Or had no clue what the heck was going on. Ebay. *Revelation* OMG EBAY! That’s why! That’s why he was full of unenchanted purples and pvp purples! Ok ignore what I just typed earlier. I can’t believe I wasted so much brain power on why that DK was so full of fail.

tl;dr: So we had an Ebay tank and we kicked him and Turny tanked, and did okay-tanking even though bear tanking with all of its cooldowns need more time to maintain AOE aggro. Single threat is completely fine and I hit 84 and made Turby his stupid enchant. =)

Turny the Restless…Not Tree

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