You Stupid Quest

Yeah I’m talking about YOU, you stupid quest!

1. A Worthy Weapon. Ok first of all why am I getting the same three blades everyday? Can’t you just call the keeper of the blade and KEEP IT WITH YOU? And also, screw that I am not flying to ANOTHER ZONE and FLY BACK because a) I am too lazy to manually fly there and navigate and fly back, but if I want to afk and do it.. b) I am too cheap to pay the flight master TWICE to get your stupid sword. Stupid argent tournament.

2. All Things in Good Time. If you pop into Ahn’kahet Old Kingdom and someone shares this quest. How do we turn the quest in? When you’re done you pop back out to the place you started which is definitely NOT in Dragonblight. Do I want to fly ALL the way to Dragonblight just to turn in a quest for a stupid 23 gold? No! The only character who *MIGHT* do this is Truny because her stupid tailoring weave cooldowns all require you to fly ALL THE EFFING way to Dragonblight, in three effing locations to make three pieces of stupid cloth. Though the instance entrance is so far away I usually hearth back after I finish my last piece of cloth. And if reading the patch notes are correct, soon we won’t even have to MOVE or go anywhere to make these cloth cooldowns, prices for sure will come down once Frozo the Renowned moves in as well. Yeah I’m talking about YOU crafted ilvl264 welfare items!

3. Any quest that involves gathering random ingredients or items. Ok, eff you I am too busy questing to gather materials for you, stupid NPC get it yourself! Maybe for 120 Emblems of Frost we can hire an Unbound Scourge Slave to do quests for us while we do other quests, they would quest in real time, but save all this annoyance.

4. Any quest that involves killing a certain number of monsters. The mobs respawn, it is hopeless this endless duelling, let us succumb to our defeat. Besides, I’m too busy questing to go and commit MURDER for you! The exception to this are killing Vrykul giants, they are nummy.

5. Any quest that involves “go speak with NPC” at “some other location”. Why? We all know THESE quests don’t give a lot of gold and why don’t you move your lazy ass and speak to them yourselves and have them CALL me when they are ready?

6. Any quest that involves using some item to do something to a static object via poking/probing/scraping/skinning/mining/scalping/scanning/shooting/spraying/doping/etc. If I were you I wouldn’t trust me to do this I have shaky flimsy weak caster arms and will probably just ruin everything.

7. Any quest that involves going into some vehicle and I have to shoot things down. Ok have you played Bayonetta? If we had to take down an army of Angels while driving 150MPH on a motorcycle on the interstate, then we’ll discuss options. (Though that stage is too long)

8. Any quest that involves obtaining an item and combining it with another item via clicking on it because it says Use: Combine with blah. Ok first of all when I loot the item I am too lazy to check where it went into my bag and I am also too lazy to click on it again to combine it.

9. Any quest where completing them only involves speaking to the same NPC and clicking “Complete”. What the hell that wasn’t a quest!

Truny the Questing Warlock

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