Turby’s Analysis of the Races

All my toons are Horde. For the Horde! Why you ask?

Because my friend said “when you make your guy make sure to choose horde”, and I said “Ok”.

Yeah.

But now I am quite attached to the horde.

I have associated the Allies as: Those Slightly Annoying People Whom I Can Not Really Profit or Interact With/Off Of But Should Kill For Reasons I Am Not Sure Of Anymore.

So from my taint of being Horde, this is how I see each of the Races.

Orc

Ok, so Thrall is our leader, and he is an orc. Good. I can not play as an orc. I do not know why. Maybe they just look to bulky or dumb. I would really like to make a Shaman, I have and deleted him, but I would like to actually get one to 80 but I do not want to be an Orc. Thrall is a shaman, why can I not be like Thrall? It’s all in the looks sigh.

Troll

Turby is a troll, he is green and cool and laidback and does Capoeira like dances and he’s just chillin. I am okay with trolls, regardless that their main town is a tiny tiny starting zone village.

Tauren

Cows. Bovine. I play a Tauren because I have no choice, they are the only Horde members that can be druids. And with Druids, I prefer to be in TREE form at ALL times and despise seeing my “Cow form”. I’m from Alberta, cows are for eating, not for playing.

Undead

You start “life” as a noobie, by rising out of your grave. Nice nice. I have origins. I was probably a human but now I am a zombie. I can play as Undead anyday, our bones show, and our spines show, and just rockin’ out is awesome! (Whatever)

Blood Elves

I thought Blood Elves would be fun to play because they had the word “blood” in them. Really. My first Blood Elf was my Death Knight and ….he’s too pretty to kill, hence he sits in Dalaran crafting Gems for his friends. My Rogue is also a Blood Elf, he looks like a Male Stripper because apparently he has to wear this Raptor Harness which shows off his chest. The Female Blood Elf is too….peppy, like whoa calm down. Also, all the Blood Elf jokes are quite rude. I would not delete my Blood Elves though because they are at a high enough level to retain.

Humans

I am not a white person, nor am I a black person trying to be a white person. Enough said with Humans.

Night Elves

When I played WC3, I was always the N.E’s. Because….we could have Maieve Shadowsong as our hero, our wisps would just drain resources, and our buildings could move, and we got Tranquility! Like whoa!

Night Elves in WoW are not Maieve Shadowsong, and what happened to the Male ones..they look….special … o_O?

Gnomes

Gnomes are cool. They don’t care what anyone thinks about them they will run around and smack your ankles and giggity giggle and run away. If Faction transfers enabled us to keep the Race as well I would make a Gnome mage, delete my Undead mage and transfer it to the horde! They are so cute when they die!

Dwarves

I am sorry but I can not stand their accent. Dwarves should just stay in the Snow White fairy tale and we will leave it at that.

Draenai (Spelling)

What the heck are these? Purply goats from space right? Sorry I do not fare well with Farm Animals I am just like that.

Goblin

Yay we get our own “Tiny annoying thing” for the Horde side! Would I make one? No.

Worgen

Holy fuck! PUPPIES! WHY did they have to be on the Alliance’s side? Give them…Goblins or…Not-Worgen! I think when the expansion comes I might have to move all my ten toons to the Alliance just to join the Worgen that I am about to create! I can see it now, I would go to LBRS and get the Worgen pet so my child can quest with me then I would mount my….PIG?? and ride around all puppy like! It was when this was announced that I was disappointed in the Faction changes we don’t get to keep our race. BOO!

I mean, I could always just make a Worgen with no access to Kluptomania’s riches and support, be on the Allies…joining the 45,000 Human Paladin 12 year olds on our server…..great fun! Yes, in BGs they are ALL Human Paladins! I didn’t even know that Allies could MAKE Shamans until I accidentally killed one and went “What the hell was that, it didn’t have a shiny lolhammer??”

Did I Forget Any?

If I did, I probably didn’t care for it.

Puppies!!

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