Warlock, I am Disappoint

Scenario: Hellfire Ramparts
Toon: Level 61 Resto Shaman
Disappointed in: Destruction Warlock

Hi! Wow what a lame intro. Anyways. With nothing better to do at end-game except raid /shudder I am levelling my 61 resto shaman and 67 protection pally through Outlands (obviously). Also due to the fel armor changes I am slowly transitioning my “main” to be my Hunter once again. He’s having a blast hunting down rare pets. But that’s a different story.

A normal hellfire ramparts, whatever. Everything is going well I’m half AFK as usual, come back to refresh Earth Shield and pretend to heal by spamming Chain Heal and while I’m doing all this I notice over the shoulder of my character…TWO firesballs fly by. I swear even my in-game character turned her head in confuzzledment.

Wait a minute. I look at the little recount box hidden in the corner of my screen. Brown, Yellow, Green, Purple, Blue (ME!)

No Light Blue for Mage. A fireball? For a warlock? Soulfire? With an Imp? Repeatedly? Say what? Ok so the first fireball was the imp’s but the second? And continuously?

In an instant I deduced that this Warlock was doing something “different”. Why would he chain cast Soulfire when he’s not Demo spec? Given that the imp may give him an instant one I can definitely see from the fireballs flying past me that they are being fired off at casting intervals.

I stop and watch.

Soulfire, Soulfire, Soulfire.

I look at recount.

Warlock: Soulfire. Count 45 Damage xxxxx

That’s it. He was just spamming this.

His average DPS was 450, which is…is that average? I think my shaman in elemental spec can pull 1,000?

“To each their own I guess”, was my first thought. But the inner warlock/elitist in me couldn’t contain the rage.

I whispered them “why are you only casting soulfire, you know you have immolate+conflagrate right?”

They say “It’s better”.

HMMM….is it? If so then we have a serious game-design issue where spamming soulfire out damages the regular destro-rotation pre-chaos bolt. What about rain of destruction? We’re not in Cata heroics yet its pretty safe to AOE stuff?

But I rationalized and said “but with conflag your next few spells could cast faster”.

“I guess” was the response. He then proceeds to cast some random spells for 20 seconds then continues to spam Soulfire until the end of the run. I guess pushing more than two buttons was too complicated for him?

I felt dirty.

I tried selling the Demonology tree to him if he loved Soulfire so much “you know you might be interested in the Demo tree there are talents that buff that spell”.

“How do I do that?”

“Uhh…you just respec”.

WHAT? We didn’t dumb the game down so much that people don’t even know they can dual-spec or respec right? You STILL have to go to a trainer to learn spells right?

I think they were doing it on purpose to troll everyone. I really hope that that was the reason for this. Why would we go through all this effort to design the warlock class if you’re just going to spam one button? We’re not in burning crusades anymore??

Did they even READ the Incinerate tooltip? Should we make tooltips bigger? Should we force players to read tooltips OUT LOUD and email us a copy of them reading it out loud before they are able to learn it? Should we quiz them first? Let’s scrap complicated spells that affect second spells altogether? Are people really playing SO SO casually now that they just don’t care? No, I play casually I spend time flying around looking for dinosaurs and shiny cats but I still know how to optimize damage! ARRG!

If a spell that takes 2.5 seconds to cast does 1000 damage vs a spell that takes 1.5 seconds to cast that does 750 damage, which one does more damage over 120 seconds?

What if we dumbed down the talent trees to THREE talents? And also, you just push ONE button that will recognize all your trained skills to produce the most effective spell rotation? That’d be nice!

Ok maybe this person was 12 years old? No! Why are you playing WOW get back to school and do your homework! What ugggh too stressful!! Troll-lock wins, application of despair and anguish successful!

Shinjen the Resto Dr..err Shaman!

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