The God Mode Retreat

My mood tends to dictate the playstyle in which I am comfortable with; when I feel chaotic and messy I’ll play my Warlock, when I’m tired and needing a more calm and calculated approach to murdering mobs, I play my hunter. But what happens when neither of those mind-sets are appropriate? What if I just wanted to spam buttons and see tons of numbers and shiny effects and not have to worry about dying. I play my Protection Paladin!

Yes, a tank! Of course, this tank is only level 67 but there’s something that just fits right with pally tanking right now. Perhaps its the satisfaction of seeing my shield throw hit for a lot, guaranteeing aggro, or my Judgement hammer giving me infinite mana, or Word of Glory Godly Self Heals.

I don’t know! All I know is sometimes I get into such a holy righteous tanking fury that I’ll just pull away regardless of whether or not the healer or the DPS are behind me, or if they are alive, because what it boils down to is even if they had all died I could probably still kill everything and end up at full health and mana. Weird and creepy yes? Yes I know this goes against every single tanking code out there, such as minding your healer and…making sure no one’s dead!

I also get to be a “dps” who doesn’t have to look at the charts but end up near the top of them anyways just because of all the natural AOE damage that come from my attacks. And the healer has their mouse on you at all times so you can go ape-shit!

I’ve also decided that this tank will officially replace my Druid. Forever. Bear tanking is just…..not so fun. I don’t really care if its efficient or whatnot, or if all those added cooldowns made things more stable…..bear tanking just feels really off right now. Why would Swipe have a cooldown? Why did Maul also get a cooldown? What’s with all these cooldowns? I say we get rid of Roar of Courage or whatever the hell that useless running speed roar is and add a USEFUL Feral spell and scrap Thrash altogether. I refuse to change and adapt to such folly! Maybe I’m too frenzied to play as a bear tank? See you usually have to charge in, then build up your aggro slowly with your one maul, one swipe, and one thrash. Then mangle and lacerate whatever your want main-threat as. If anyone pulls aggro you can taunt ONCE, but if two mobs get ripped off, which is highly likely since some DPS’ers just can’t WAIT eight seconds…you’re screwed. Maybe Feral Tanking is more cerebral now and we must delegate our cooldowns properly rather than spamming them? Ugggh! It’s not…..fun but stressful. Do I find a challenge stressful? Perhaps, but it could also be FUN if my character were to be FUN to begin with? Does that even make sense? It’s sad that I used to find both of my Druid’s specs were fun to play. In resto, just being in treeform was entertainment enough, but as we all know that has been removed /shakefist. Bear tanking was fun, with the buttom spamming. Maybe it’s just me then. I’m crazy. Take for example my old keybinds: 1, lacerate. 2, mangle. 3, maul. 4, swipe. Before I would literally be doing this on my end of the keyboard: 3334444444444444444444433333333321111143333333444444444444444443333333333333333, though it would only seem like I am doing 3,3,4,4,2,3,3. No. Now its even worse, I am forced to be like: 3……….4………..5…………..6…………1,1,1,5,2,2…………………3………………….zzzzzzzzz

With a paladin, I can instantly snap aggro from whatever my shield hits, run in consecrate to “claim” the aggro zone, holy wrath for extra aoe, then hammer of AOE. Maybe its because whether I like it or not I still don’t enjoy playing as melee classes. For a Druid Tank to grab aggro they have to be in ACTUAL melee to do anything, where as a paladin can THROW shields and hammers and not actually have to be in melee range to do anything. All the buttons that we can push just naturally work with one another and it just feels right and I can’t reiterate that enough!

Or maybe I’m just really really shallow and only like playing classes that don’t die. I don’t play my rogue because he gets hit ass handed to him EVERY SINGLE FIGHT. He’s subtlety spec and can usually one shot most mobs via stealthing and ambushing. But if a mob were to not die, then the fight essentially boils down to MISS MISS MISS MISS MISS MISS MISS. Take a 15 minute rest to bandage up and continue. That wastes way too much time. Subtlety is fun and all but I’m just not patient enough to play it in PVE. PVP is a different story /cackle

What other melee classes are there? Warrior. Nah. How am I even supposed to get rage to attack? Oh yeah, a DK. Didn’t I say I was going to level my DK in glorious fashion? Uhh well he’s now just camped by the Jewelcrafting Daily Quest Giver and….yeah….

So anyways, my rational mind is saying: “This Paladin provides your main with no economical benefit other than being able to produce Blacksmithing Belt Buckles, which you no longer require. And in order to maximize the use of this profession this toon must also acquire faster flight speed, which results in the allocation of funds with a long-term prospect for a return on investment.”

Anyways enough of my nonsense for you goodbye!

Turby the Paladin

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